


Best Christmas Present Ever

by strawberry_cupcakes



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: All the Avengers make an appearance, Angst with a Happy Ending, As do the cast of SHIELD, Christmas on the Bus, Clint is good at verbalizing his feelings, Fix-It, M/M, Oblivious Phil Coulson, Phil should learn from him, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Tony Is a Good Bro, all the feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-03 21:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5306609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberry_cupcakes/pseuds/strawberry_cupcakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mysterious tiny ornaments begin to appear around the Bus wherever Phil goes. By Christmas Eve, he's got (almost) a full collection and he waits in his office for his gift-giver to deliver him the last piece.</p><p>What follows is the greatest Christmas gift Phil could have hoped to receive that year.</p><p>(Part of Feelstide 2015)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Christmas Present Ever

**Author's Note:**

> I had to fiddle around with the timeline of Agents of SHIELD to fit the story in. Didn't write it about this year's because I'm not fully caught up to this season, so I might get things wrong. I moved all of the action and drama of the temple and Inhumans reveal to after Christmas, because it got too complicated. Also, I would never miss up a chance to have Trip and Captain American sharing stories of the Howling Commandoes, because Trip is a ball of sunshine who should never have been killed off before they could meet.
> 
> Really enjoyed participating in Feelstide this year (it's my first) and I hope everyone checks out all of the other awesome stories in the collection!
> 
> Once again, any and all constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.

It had all begun with a little reindeer sitting on his desk.

 

Though the Bus had been trashed when HYDRA reared its ugly head, Mack and his crew had worked hard to repair it. Phil still liked to go to his office inside the Bus because it was quieter and less people bothered him while he was there. It gave him time to think about the strange alien symbols he’d begun to carve. What were they? And why was he drawing them?

But those thoughts were not in his mind when he saw what was sitting on his desk. The reindeer, which was smaller than his fingernail, was perched delicately on top of a pile of files. It looked too small to be an individual ornament, and it looked vaguely familiar to Phil. He picked it up and looked at it from all directions, but he simply couldn’t figure out where he’d seen the little guy or who could have possibly put it there. Was it Skye pulling a prank on him now that Christmas was approaching? She was the most likely candidate out of all of them, after all.

Shrugging it off, Phil opened the top drawer of his desk and carefully placed the reindeer in a box he kept for extra cufflinks. Now that the mysterious object had been dealt with, Phil opened up the files he had brought with him and tried to make sense of the strange symbols laid out in front of him.

 

The next reindeer was found on Phil’s pillow two days later.

 

The one after that was hiding in his Grumpy Cat mug.

 

The next one was sitting on his bar of soap.

 

He had even found a small tree on Skye’s head as she napped on the couch in the communal room.

 

 

And so it continued until Christmas Eve, when he had amassed a total of seventeen small pieces.

Phil was sitting in his office, staring at the various ornaments he’d lined up on his desk. They recreated an image of Santa riding his sleigh on Christmas Eve, complete with snowy trees and a little cottage with all the lights turn off. It was complete, save for one of the reindeers. Phil picked up one of the reindeers and fiddled with it in one hand as he lost himself in thought.

Four ornaments in, Phil had figured out who his mystery gift-giver was. He wasn’t the infamous Senior Agent Phil Coulson for nothing, after all. He was now waiting for them to show themselves, and he hoped it would be with the arrival of the next piece.

Phil had his head down, staring at the reindeer in his hand intently, when he heard the sound of the air vent in the room slide open and a soft thump as heavy boots hit the carpeted floor.

 

After giving himself a moment, Phil looked up and took in the sight of Clint Barton, one of SHIELD’s finest and Avenger, standing in front of him and seemingly staring blankly into space. His eyes were gaunt and his face was pale, almost as if he hadn’t been sleeping properly for a while. His was nervously fiddling with something in his left hand, and upon closer inspection, Phil realized it was the last remaining reindeer.

As if breaking out of a trance, Clint shook his head and slowly approached Phil’s desk and carefully placed the last reindeer where it needed to go. Phil also went ahead and placed the one in his hand back in its place as well, completing the collection of the winter scene.

The two of them stared in silence at the completed collection of ornaments in front of them for a while. Phil was trying to think of something to say when Clint opened his mouth.

“So… I guess you figured out it was me.”

Phil had a small smile on his face as he said, “I did.”

“Why didn’t you call me out on it? You must have known I was lurking somewhere around the Bus.”

“I wanted you to come when you were ready. I didn’t want to rush you,” Phil said as he looked up at the man standing in front of him, hands moving nervously as if they were palming at a bow that wasn’t there, a habit Clint had picked up in his circus days and had never ended up shaking off. 

It was then that Clint looked up, having been staring at the ornaments till then. He stared straight into Phil’s eyes for a moment before looking away and smiling bitterly. “Of course not. Agent Phil Coulson is always so considerate and thoughtful to his agents. That’s why he didn’t tell them that for over two and a half years, he was alive and well and had moved on with a brand new team.”

“Clint-“

“No, you willingly made the decision to leave us out of your life so you don’t get to talk.”

Phil shut his mouth, his teeth making an audible click as he did so.

 

“I get it, you weren’t alive for all of those two and a half years. You had to deal with a bunch of shit that comes from coming back from the dead. But even if you didn’t want us back as a team, don’t you think we at least deserved to know that you were alive? Did we mean so little to you that you didn’t think we needed to know? If not the rest of the team, you could have least told Nat and me. We worked together for years. Years, Phil. We’ve taken bullets for each other. We trusted each other. You even had your hands inside my body, literally keeping my insides from spilling out, in Doha. We’ve shared more with each other than we’ve ever shared with anyone else in the world. So was that all just business? Just you being Senior Agent Phil Coulson? Even if we didn’t get to be on your team, we could have at least helped you. You think you’re the only one who’s had his brain taken out and played with? You think Nat and I have no idea what that feels like and what you can do to make it better?”

Clint brought up a finger to his face to wipe away the single tear that fell from his left eye. He sighed and looked defeated, his voice coming out as a faint whisper.

“I thought we were at least friends, Phil.”

“Of course we are.”

“Friends don’t do that kind of thing, Phil, not even in our field of work.”

Phil wasn’t sure what to say to that. He wasn’t sure there would be anything he could say to make the situation better. Because Clint was right. Friends didn’t do this to each other. When Natasha had been presumed dead during a mission in Zagreb - something she had felt was necessary to salvage a mission that had gone FUBAR - she had still left messages for both Phil and Clint to let them know she was okay. That was how they operated. Even when they were in situations far beyond their control, whether it be aliens or uncontainable billionaires, they always made sure to let each other that they were alive at the very least. But this time around, Phil hadn’t done that. He’d let them think he was dead.

 

And they’d found out in the worst way possible. Phil and his team had gone out to check out a rumor about alien symbols being carved somewhere when their mission turned FUBAR in the blink of an eye. They had unknowingly found themselves smack dab in the middle of an HYDRA nest bust by the Avengers, who looked like they were searching for something. 

The scene had erupted into chaos and it had taken all of Phil’s brainpower to ensure that no one in his team died. Breathing heavy from the sudden adrenaline rush, Phil hadn’t noticed that something was wrong until Melinda had nudged him in the rib and nodded towards the Avengers, who were staring at him as if they’d seen a ghost.

It was only when Stark had levelled one of his repulsors at him that Phil realized that that was exactly what they were probably thinking. For all they knew, Phil Coulson had died on the helicarrier at the hands of Loki. Yet here he was, clutching a gun in his hands and leading a brand new team. 

Both teams agreed to reconvene at Avengers Tower to discuss the turn of events. The ensuing conversation had been tense. Captain America clutched his shield with a death grip and Stark nursed a drink the whole time. Thor had looked troubled while Doctor Banner looked shocked but not hurt, probably because he’d spent the least amount of time with Phil. Natasha had twirled her favorite set of knifes the whole time while Clint.. Clint had looked blank, not looking directly at Phil the whole time. Once Phil had finished explaining how he’d come back and how he’d gotten his team together, Clint had just gotten up from his seat and walked away without a word.

Thinking he’d do more damage than good if he followed, Phil had bid his farewells and left with his team instead of staying around. Now that he thought about it, that hadn’t been a wise choice. But as they say, hindsight is twenty-twenty.

 

Phil was pulled out of his thoughts by Clint’s soft chuckle.

“Do you know how I got those ornaments out?”

He waited for Phil to shake his head before he continued.

“I threw the damn snow globe they used to be in against the wall. The day we learned that you were alive and you explained everything, I went up to my room and saw it sitting where it always was, on my kitchen counter. So I picked it up and threw it against the wall. It shattered and everything inside it went flying.

"I should have just left it there. Tony’s bots would come clean up the mess and there would be nothing left come morning. But do you know what I did? I sat in the broken glass, picking up each and every damn reindeer, tree and that stupid Santa. That’s how Nat found me. Bleeding everywhere and clutching those stupid ornaments in my hand, crying my eyes out while Lucky was pacing around me in distress.

"Tony even offered to make me a new snow globe while Bruce was patching me up but I declined. Because I wanted to remember. My fucked-up mind wanted a visual reminder that you coming back was actually real and that you were actually alive. That I hadn’t gone crazy and imagined everything.”

Clint was now breathing heavily and though his face remained blank, tears ran down his face from stormy eyes that avoided Phil’s.

“After a couple of weeks, I talked myself into throwing the little ornaments away. They were bound to get lost anyway or Lucky would eat them and then I’d have to take him to the vet, right? But I didn’t. Not because they reminded me of you. No.”

It was only then that Clint looked back at Phil.

“I couldn’t throw them away because you gave them to me. You gave me that stupid snow globe during one of our first missions together when I was sick and miserable and it was the first Christmas present I’d gotten in such a long time... I couldn’t bear to throw it away. Because despite all the lies and deception, I still can’t make myself stop loving you, Phil Coulson.”

 

Phil’s next breath got caught in his throat as he stared at Clint and his new revelation.

 

He remembered the look on Clint’s face when he’d handed the snow globe to the archer. They’d been on a mission in Norway near Bergen to take out the leader of a trafficking ring who was on vacation. Though Phil had gotten to stay in the apartment building as the mission handler, Clint had had to brave the Norwegian winters to assassinate their target. The mission had taken three hours longer than expected, and Clint had returned back to the cabin a shivering mess. Phil had bundled Clint up in as many blankets and coats they had laying around, because he was a mother hen and Clint was looking too similar to a drowned puppy for his taste, and set out to the town to acquire the ingredients for a nice, homemade soup.

While in town, Phil noticed that there was a Christmas market going on. There were gingerbread houses and ornaments, with sparkling lights everywhere. He’d been walking past the various tables when he found himself stopping in front of an array of snow globes. They were the usual fare of santas, snowmen and reindeer. Not really delving too much into the ‘why’ of things, Phil picked one up and paid for it, tucking the globe into his jacket pocket as he carried on. Maybe he had wanted to cheer his miserable agent up, maybe the sight of the market got Phil into the Christmas spirit.

For whatever reason he had convinced himself to believe, Phil returned back to their apartment and placed the snow globe on the coffee table in front of Clint, who was curled up on the couch and occasionally sniffling. Looking dazed, Clint picked up the snow globe and shook it, immediately enraptured by the little snowflakes dancing around. He then looked at Phil with childlike wonder in his eyes - which made Phil wonder how many Christmas presents Clint had gotten in his life, which was a train of thought he had to shut down immediately because it would lead to a train of murderous thoughts - and thanked him.

Since then till the year Phil had ‘died’, Clint and Phil, and then Natasha as well, made sure to get each other a gift for Christmas. Even if they were out on a mission, they always made sure a present was delivered to each other.

 

Phil wondered what Clint had done for the past two Christmases. Had he, like Phil, looked at something and thought about purchasing it as a Christmas gift, only to remember that he wouldn’t be able to give it to the intended receiver? Had Clint felt a little hollow inside when he realized there wouldn’t be a gift wrapped in silver (Clint always wrapped his in purple, while Phil stuck to silver and Natasha’s were usually a blood red) waiting for him?

It was then that it hit him. Why he’d always looked out for Clint more than his other agents. Why he’d always made sure that there was homemade soup waiting for Clint after a cold op, even when there was canned soup in the cupboards. Why he’d always get excited to pick out a present for Clint every year.

 

God, Phil had been an idiot.

 

It was then that Phil got out of his chair and approached Clint. He walked slowly, scared of spooking the man who looked wrung out and defeated. Reaching Clint’s side, he placed his hands on Clint’s shoulders and turned the man towards him, sliding down to clasp their hands together when he was done. 

Clint looked down at the hands and up at Phil, confusion and a small spark of hope in his eyes.

Phil didn’t break his gaze, hoping that Clint could see his sincerity.

“I don’t think saying sorry is going to be enough for you to forgive me. I wouldn’t forgive me if I were you. But I am. I am sorry that I was a coward and didn’t tell you or Natasha that I was alive. I’m sorry that I waited too long before I changed my mind about it, but then held back because I thought I was too late and would do more damage. I’m sorry I acted in a way that made you feel like I didn’t value our friendship. Because I value it very much, Clint. I should have valued it more, despite being distracted by a new team and aliens and all that. Because those are just that, distractions and excuses.

“I know it’s going to be difficult to forgive me. I understand that it will take a long time to regain the trust you once were gracious enough to give me. But, I’d like to try. Not start over, or just pick up where we left off and pretend nothing happened, but try to make up for the mistakes I’ve made and rebuild our relationship together.”

Clint did nothing but stare at him with wide eyes as he listened to Phil.

“But if you don’t want to do that, then I will respect your wishes and leave you alone. I will make sure that the Avengers and SHIELD won’t overlap and even if they do, I will keep my interactions with you to a bare minimum. The choice is your’s Clint. You’re right. I don’t have a say in how things go from here because I unilaterally decided the future of our friendship for the past two and a half years. So tell me you never want to see me again, and I’ll go away. But if you’d also like to give our friendship another try, I’d be very grateful.”

 

Silence filled the room as Phil finished speaking. Clint was now looking down at their joined hands as he contemplated what he’d do next. Though Phil was nervous, he would be a man of his word and respect whatever choice Clint made. If they ended up never seeing each other again, then Phil would do one last thing as Clint’s friend and respect his wishes.

They stood there for a good five minutes - which felt like an eternity to Phil - before Clint spoke.

“I’d like that And maybe… maybe we can be more than friends as well?”

Phil was surprised. He would have counted himself lucky to have salvaged his and Clint’s friendship but this? This was nothing short of a Christmas miracle.

“Yes, I’d like that too.”

The smile Phil received was similar to the one he’d gotten on the op in Norway. Phil’s eyes crinkled as he returned the smile.

“But I want you to set the pace. We don’t move on if you’re not comfortable or you feel like I’m disregarding your opinion. I’ve made too many mistakes already doing that.”

Clint gave him a watery chuckle and said, “Okay. So does that mean I can kiss you whenever I want?”

“Yes.”

Their lips touched for a brief moment in a chaste kiss and when they parted, Clint burrowed himself into Phil’s arms and hugged him tightly as Phil hugged him back just as hard. They stayed like that for a moment, enjoying each other’s warmth.

 

It was Clint who broke the silence.

Leaning back a little so he could see Phil’s face, Clint smiled sheepishly and stated, “So, uh… Just giving you a head’s up, but I’m pretty sure you’re going to get a shovel talk from Tony, and it’s probably going to be really awkward but vaguely threatening.”

“Stark? I thought you’d be warning me about Natasha.”

“Oh, no. She’s definitely going to give you one. I thought that would have just been implied. But no, you’re going to get one from Tony too.

“And why specifically him?”

“Uh… because Tony and I are bros now?”

Phil cocked and eyebrow and smiled. “Bros, huh?”

“His words, not mine.”

“And how did this ‘bromance’ start, may I ask?”

“Okay, first of all, can I just say how weird it is to see you saying ‘bromance’? Second, we kind of, sort of bonded when we got kidnapped by some random extremist group and we shared a lot with each other because we thought we were going to die?”

“Is that- wait, die?”

Clint let go of Phil will one arm to rub the back of his neck. “Uh… it’s not what you think?”

“We’re going to discuss this at a later date. There will be a debrief.”

“Yes, sir,” was all Clint said before burrowing himself back into Phil’s arms. They stayed there for a while, until Phil took Clint’s hand and led him to his bedroom, where they snuggled up and slept till the next morning.

 

 

When Phil opened his eyes, he smiled when he saw Clint half on top of him, arms and legs wrapped around his body and snoring slightly. Phil would have stayed in bed all day to watch the man sleep, but Mother Nature was calling and he had to get to the bathroom. His movements woke Clint, and Phil reassured him that he was only going to the bathroom for a moment before climbing out of bed.

By the time he got back, Clint was rubbing at his eyes in a seated position with hair sticking out all over the place. He smiled when he saw Phil enter the room again and was about to say something when he was interrupted by a rumble from his stomach.

Phil laughed and threw Clint’s pants at him, “Come on. Jemma is probably making pancakes for breakfast and trust me when I say you won’t want to miss them.”

 

His team were quite nonchalant the fact that they were being joined by an Avenger for Christmas. Jemma, Fitz and Skye looked curious but didn’t bombard Clint with questions while May smiled at them knowingly. Bobbi, whose marriage with Clint had been resolved amicably, gave Clint a small wave of hello while Hunter, Mack and Trip smiled in greeting as well.

Sitting around the kitchen countertop as Jemma and Trip manned the grills, the atmosphere surrounding the group was warm. Their team had gone through a lot that year, with HYDRA’s reveal, Ward’s betrayal and so many lives lost or injured. But they had survived. And they were all here to celebrate Christmas together.

Phil felt Clint’s hand gently grip his thigh. He looked up and mirrored the warm smile on Clint’s face, knowing his eyes were probably looking a little dopey as well. He knew things weren’t automatically going to fix themselves. He knew there would be bumps in the road. But he had Clint sitting next to him for Christmas, and he couldn’t think of a better Christmas than that.

 

The soft carol music that had been playing from the room’s speakers suddenly stopped and a voice filled the room.

“Oh, honey bun and love of my life, you weren’t going to enjoy the holiday festivities without me, were you?”

Phil groaned and his head hit the countertop as he recognized the person behind the voice. He didn’t have much time to recover though as Tony Stark entered the room with a flourish, followed by the rest of the Avengers.

“Sugar! There you are.”

Stark walked up to Clint and pinched his cheeks, which surprised Phil’s team because they hadn’t been expecting that. It was then that he noticed Clint’s hand on Phil’s thigh and his eyes narrowed.

Catching the direction of his gaze, Clint said, “Tony, be nice.”

Tony Stark stared intently into Clint’s eyes for a moment before sighing dramatically and saying, “Fine. I’m only doing it because you’re my bro, and it would be against the bro code if I didn’t.”

Trip had mirth in his eyes as he mouthed “Bro code,” to Jemma, who giggled in return, while Fitz just stared with an open mouth at the fact that he was standing in the same room as Tony Star himself.

Each of the Avengers came up to greet them all, and Phil refrained from asking them how they had gotten into a secure facility in an unknown location. (Clint later told Phil that he’d let Tony implant him with a tracking device, that actually came with a safeword that Clint could use at any time to kill any transmissions. As for getting inside the facility… It wasn’t like you could technically stop the Avengers from getting in to a place when they had the world’s greatest billionaire, the world’s greatest spy, a literal god, the Hulk and the man who raided a HYDRA base by himself.)

 

The day progressed with laughter and excitement filling the room. Fitz and Mack were discussing machinery with Stark while Bobbi, Natasha and Melinda were huddled together, probably plotting to take over the world, which they could probably do if they enlisted the help of Pepper Potts to run the whole shindig. It was either that, or they were admiring Thor’s biceps, which were bulging as he talked to Skye and Hunter about his escapades in New Mexico with Doctor Foster. Bruce and Jemma were engaged in a conversation about Bruce’s latest paper and Captain Rogers was swapping war stories with Trip, who was bringing up tales that his grandfather had told him about the Howling Commandoes.

 

Clint leaned in to him and said, “Best Christmas present ever.”

Feeling Clint’s warm presence next to him and seeing their teams enjoying each other’s presences, Phil couldn’t agree more.

 

 

 

(Phil did end up getting a shovel talk from Tony Stark, and Natasha, and Captain Rogers, and  Thor, and Bruce, and even the Hulk on one memorable occasion.

Tony Stark’s shovel talk was as awkward as Clint had warned it would be. There was a lot of hand gestures and mentions of Pepper Potts involved, with JARVIS chiming in here and there - because Clint was apparently JARVIS’ favorite Avenger apart from Tony - but Phil could tell that he really cared about Clint and was just looking out for his friend. Phil simply nodded and swore that he would do what he could to not hurt Clint. And that was true. He was being given a second chance, and he wasn’t going to waste it.)

**Author's Note:**

> Currently planning the outline of the kidnapping Clint mentions when asked about his 'bromance' with Tony. I've always thought they're friendship would be a really interesting one to delve into, so that may be coming soon!
> 
> Happy holidays, everyone!


End file.
